Yet another ‘C’
So what am I feeling? Well, when I first received it I was mad.
Some 7 hours later, writing this, I’ve sucked it up and keeping it moving. Especially with some time to think about how I got here.
This particular ‘C’, I’m not sure I deserve. I submitted five videos with different styles of presentation. He rejected four and told me to keep it simple. I did exactly as requested.
Then when its time for critique, he didn’t have too much to critique; told me to make a few minor changes — then I get a C?
So, for a simple walk I was told to do, that he had no complaints about, I get a low grade?
And then my conscience speaks: “Are you in this for the grades? Do studios hire based on grades?”
To that, I answer: “No.”
Now you see the point of this journal: I can’t bitch to my classmates because this sort of thing only brings a lower moral feeling.
Based on how our instructor started speaking to us, it feels like he has had arguments with past students who fought with him about grades and such. Besides, I’m not into conflict. Not this kind anyway. It’s practically all virtual. The true fight is with building my personal skill set and crushing my insecurities.
What I learned from going for the Bachelor’s degree is it’s not worth the time arguing with an instructor. I think I mentioned this in a previous journal entry. It’s just not worth it UNLESS you’re going into another field that depends on that grade. Like law. Going to law school, every grade is scrutinized.
For instance, at one time I explored going to law school since I did very well with the practice LSAT at one time (I mean, who would have thunk it? I am a big supporter of trying ‘everything’. You’ll be surprised what you naturally gravitate to and succeed in. Here I am: a six-foot-two Black man that can’t play basketball with a love for animation and a curious ability to solve logic problems from law exams).
First, fuck you for thinking I maybe into animation but it doesn’t show that with ‘C’ grades.
Or maybe I’m thinking that.
The grades doesn’t matter. In fact, my instructor ultimately doesn’t matter. ,
This entire experience has been giving me insight to where I have been going wrong with previous years of off and on animation work. Think about it: we’re in week 3 and I already have answers to a list of previously unfinished work that could have been better. Better way to look at it: remember that ‘Jurassic Park’ scene where the animation tries to explain what they do with missing holes in the DNA and they fill it with reptile DNA to complete the code?
I’m the dino-DNA, and this animation course is filling the holes. Knowing that, should I even care about the grades I get?
Part if me is still stuck on a ‘yes’ for that.
Part of me feels I was set up. I dumb’d down my assignment as requested but if I was going to get a ‘C’, I would have submitted the earlier examples. Everybody else submitted fantastic reference videos and didn’t get told to change it.
I won’t let that happen again. Next assignment, I’m going to show out a little. Cause this just doesn’t make any sense.
Conscience: “Do you KNOW what the instructor has told your fellow students to do or not to do? Everyone is working at different levels. Have you considered that your instructor may have seen your previous samples and would rather you slow your ass down — as to not over do it compared to other students? No one likes a show off and your work is quite good.”
Me: “My work is terrible”
Conscience: “And that is part of the problem. Until you think otherwise, you’ll keep getting ‘C”s no matter what you do.”
Me: “Fuck you.”